Life Lessons...

Okay...apparently there are some people in the world who have missed out on some of life's most important lessons. For example, one of my favorites: NEVER EVER ask a woman if she's pregnant unless it is PAINFULLY obvious that she is...and even then, exercise great caution. If you see something like this, it is probably safe to assume it isn't too many nachos, or one too many caramel lattes, but in fact, a pregnant belly.

However, asking a woman in her hormonal postpartum stage, who is already sleep deprived and caring for a 3.5 week old baby is not a good idea. Ouch.

BUT, asking a woman with a NINE week old baby who is out celebrating her anniversary with her husband is an even more retarded idea. That one hurts even more. Thank you for the self esteem boost, and shattering my little bubble, in which, I think I look pretty darn good for having not only a 2 month old baby, but having THREE of them in THREE years, and three c-sections at that.

So, for those who have not yet learned this valuable lesson, please do. Never, never, NEVER ask unless you can actually SEE a child emerging from her body at that very moment. Not only does it severely bruise the ego, but it is also very embarrasing for the woman, who you've essentially called a fat lard pot belly, to have to explain that no, she's not pregnant, and even more embarrasing when you try to smooth it over with justifications for why they may have asked you, other than you being a fat lard pot belly.

So a lesson going along with that, if you DO make the mistake of bringing it up, PLEASE do not try to smooth it over. Nothing else you could possibly say from that moment on could make it any better, and only creates more embarrassment. Simply say, "I'm sorry, I'm an idiot." and walk away, QUICKLY.